everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
