I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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