I'm lost and stupid without you.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
