hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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