found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Randomize
