The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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