smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
