how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
