First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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