It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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