everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
