i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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