I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
