His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
then he tried to convert me to islam
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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