thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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