i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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