Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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