I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
