I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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