Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
