I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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