I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
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