Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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