i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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