So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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