he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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