if only i could text you this smell
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
