By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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