can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
