the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize