Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
