I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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