This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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