I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
