i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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