"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
