I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
