At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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