just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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