so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We had to coat check the pizza.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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