I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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