Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
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