We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
