Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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