i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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