I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
