How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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