I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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