dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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