is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
