We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
