If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
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