is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
In America we eat man semen.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
