Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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