How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
