you guys were way drunker than both of me
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
