So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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