Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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