Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
